Managing your emotions

Events in our environment lead to thoughts, which lead to emotions, which lead to behaviour.

The problem with emotions is that they aren't willed into being, they're reflexes. Therefore we can't reproach ourselves for having negative emotions, as they are a normal reaction, and in fact are there to protect us. We should pay attention to what our emotions are telling us. If you're unable to understand what emotion you're feeling you can listen to your body. If your muscles are tense you're probably worried, if you're blushing you're probably embarrassed, if your heart is beating fast and your stomach is in knots you're probably angry or scared, and so on.

Our emotions come from our thoughts, so in order to reduce the intensity of our  (negative) emotions we need to change the way we think. We need to avoid cognitive distortion, which is an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern. We can do this by taking a step back and asking ourselves the following questions:

• What else could I think in this situation?
• What would someone else think if they were in my shoes? (Friend/family member)
• If you were an outside observer of this situation what would you think?

Try not to think in terms of 'always' or 'never', although this is easier said than done when depressed.

One good way of tracking your emotions is through using a mood diary. I personally use the app 'daylio' which lets me use emojis to record how I'm feeling each day and what activities I've done, which allows me to go back and see mood trends and to remember better times when I'm depressed. For example I can look back and see that I'm usually happy on days when I go on a walk and use my exercise bike.

Sometimes it feels like emotions manage us rather than the other way around- think 'Inside Out' (or 'Vice-versa' in French)- but it is possible to mitigate them. One such strategy is Mindfulness, and this will be the topic of my next post.