Mania and me

Mania is both scary and exciting. When I'm manic I am bubbly, more so than usual, until the pressure in the bottle rises and the bubbles fizz up, out of control, leaving the bottle suddenly empty. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but the closest I can get is being drunk, and getting drunker and drunker until you completely lose control and then waking up with the worst hangover ever, that lasts for weeks, if not days.

There are two types of mania, hypomania and mania. During hypomania the symptoms are less intense, the person is aware that they are behaving differently from normal, and they are able to continue functioning in a somewhat normal manner i.e. going to work. During hypomania the person is more sociable, talks faster than normal, is more productive but needs little sleep, concentrates better, is more creative and is more productive at work among other symptoms. Sounds great, right? Well the problem is that hypomania mostly leads to mania, which is when things start really going out of control. The person becomes euphoric, believes themselves to be very important, spends a lot of money, speaks without stopping, has wild mood swings and becomes unaware of danger. They can even become psychotic and start hallucinating. Basically all the positives are classed under hypomania, while the negatives are pure mania. And mania is always followed by a period of depression, making it doubly negative. 

Looking back I can now see that I was at least somewhat experiencing hypomania during my month long CELTA course when I was training to be an English language teacher. Over a five day period I slept for 15 hours, and yet felt full of energy and was extremely productive, even going so far as to start going running and swimming in the little time that wasn't spent at college or prepping lessons.

I have experienced true mania twice, and was hospitalised both times, but more on that another time.